Saturday, June 27, 2009

T.G.I.F. (and for Farrah, Sanford and Michael Jackson)

Ah yes, soon it's date night. This week has been a real bitch. Great Leader probably thought the week would never end. What with that auto industry thing. You remember? Doubling up on the agencies? Come on. It hasn't been that long ago.
We got that new 2nd Car Czar this week, along with another agency. First we had the Presidential Task Force on the Auto Industry. Along with that, we now have the White House Council on Automotive Communities and Workers. Doesn't that assure you that we have all the bases covered?
Then we had those pesky Uighers. We got the first batch moved to Bermuda. Oh what a media nightmare that almost became. Now some of em don't want to go to Baloa, Bolao, Below, Blow or whatever that island is.
Seems some of that damn media was snooping around and found out Judge Sotomayor was more of a racist than previously thought.
The One probably thought this week would be a good one to quietly reestablish diplomatic ties with Syria and Venezuela. Ya just cant's have enough dictators and terrorists to support.
This week somebody noticed we're spending less and less of the porkulous money. You know, the money we had to get out there. No time to read the bill because America needed the money NOW. Well, seems you need a crowbar to pry open Messiah's checkbook. US is distributing about half the money it was a month ago. Remember a couple weeks ago when he said we're going to ramp the spending up?
Who can forget our pal in North Korea. Kimmy's little tug boat, Kang Nam 1, is floating it's way to Myonmar or where ever. Maybe with a nuke, but problaly not. Looks like all that tough talk from the White House meant nothing again. It appears we're not going to enforce that 'almighty' UN resolution. Who saw that one coming? Uhboma seems to have gone weak in the knees when Kimmy threatened to "wipe out US aggressors" with a "fire shower of nuclear retaliation." Maybe should have called him at 3 a.m. about that one.
Did you happen to catch that press conference on Tuesday? That coulda been one of those Nixon debate moments if the Prez weren't such a Joe Cool. Since when does the President of the United States do commercials for a blog? Way to get your plug in there Arianna. Too bad Major Garrett had to harsh his rhythem with a real question. That's how we found out he's been "apalled" and "outraged" all along about that darn Iran thing. We just didn't notice the message sublety coming from his statements. That whole Neda thing was just awful. Can't you just feel him?
Time for state run media on Wednesday. No, were not talking Hugo in Venezuela. We're talkin Barack in the USA. That big "debate" on healthcare didn't quite draw the people he hoped for. Seems a rerun of CSI-NY beat him out. Seems he came in last with the dino networks. Good thing though, cuz he kinda got tripped up when it came to the old folks. Under Obamacare Gramma isn't going to get that knee replacment because "evidence shows it's not necessarily going to improve" her health. Whoops! He also forgot to mention that, according to the CBO, it's going to cost 4 trillion smackerooneys. Those pesky facts.
We also learned we're going to have left over weinies on the 5th of July. None of those Jew hating Iranians are coming for our Indepence celebration. Wouldn't that be kinda iranic?
I'll bet the One had to drop to his knees to thank Allah for South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford cheating on his Wife. As long as he's down there, thanks had to be given for Farrah and Micheal Jackson grabbing some headlines. With all that going on, ABC, CBS ans NBC just couldn't find the time to let people know that the, arguedly, most important bill (to us) would be debated in Congress Friday. You know the one about that 1,200 dollar stamp I'm going to buy next year?
Time for a LUAU!!!!!!!!!!!
All that comotion also covered up that nasty thing about firing Inspector General Gerald Walpin. He's the INDEPENDENT Inspector General pushing for further investigation into one of Great Leader's pals and AmeriCorps. Gosh darnit. It also didn't hurt to help cover up the news that Representative John Conyers Wife, Monica, just plead guilty to taking bribes. Uh oh!
All is well now though. It's the weekend, Congress went on vacation, tomorrow is date night and all that nasty hubbub will be long gone with America's attention span and another news cycle.

No comments:

Post a Comment

You talking to me?